EleVate Yourself

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2010-04-27T21:38:00.001-04:00

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CATS VS. SPIDER: Murder By Tapping

2009-08-05T10:44:00.000-04:00

CATS VS. SPIDER: Murder By Tapping

2008-11-13T13:31:00.000-05:00

Sarah Palin Plays the Race Card

2008-10-27T12:31:00.005-04:00

Sarah Palin played the race card again - bringing up Todd's 1/8 Native Alaskan ancestry to dodge questions about her $150K wardrobe by saying she was now wearing beaded earrings from his mother. Ignoring the obvious misdirection, I was curious to find out about how that heritage she "values" so much has affected her policymaking. Guess what? Her love of Alaskan Natives is as fake as her claims to be qualified.

Here's an overlooked story from last month.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080929/ap_on_el_pr/palin_alaska_natives

And as far as Todd goes, he isn't recognized by any tribe and doesn't seem to be involved in any Native organizations (although his mother was). The only thing that does get mentioned is his status as a shareholder of the Bristol Bay Native Corporation. But that just means that he inherited the right to fish for Sockeye Salmon in native controlled waters. This allowed the Palins to make $46,000 in a month last year.

This blog post by a Native Alaskan has much more detail, including the fact that Sarah Palin's use of the term "Yup'ik Eskimo" is insensitive/offensive. FYI, the word "esquimaux" is French/Algonquin for "raw fish eater."

http://alaskareal.blogspot.com/2008/09/todd-palin-on-his-heritage-series-of.html

Why "That One" Matters

2008-10-08T10:26:00.005-04:00

Watching the debate last night I, like many others, was taken aback when Sen. McCain referred to Sen. Obama as "that one." The question that is being asked by all the pundits is was it racist or was it McCain's style. And I wonder why it matters. It reminded me of the time when the first President Bush referred to his own half-latino grandchildren as "the little brown ones." Surely he had/has a lot of affection for them, but by his patronizing objectification he showed how out of touch and insensitive he was to our multicultural society.

So too with McCain, who may not have meant it as a racial slur but didn't have the sense to realize that others might see it that way. When you add to that insensitivity the dismissive and dehumanizing way he has treated the non-anglo world - "bomb, bomb, Iran; won't meet with our NATO ally President Zapatero, "I hate the gooks, I will hate them as long as I live", etc. - you get a clear picture of how he will continue George Bush's cowboy diplomacy and treat the international community like they are beneath him. He has made it clear that he views anyone who isn't like him as being less human.

It doesn't matter if it was racist, it was certainly dismissive. And we need a President who is going to treat every American and every citizen of the World with respect. Not this

The Disney/ Palin Movie

2008-09-26T15:52:00.001-04:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Nerd Needed

2008-09-25T23:29:00.002-04:00

Keating Five Video Primer

2008-09-25T11:24:00.001-04:00

An Economy in Crisis

2008-09-25T10:37:00.000-04:00

Following years of a Republican policy of deregulation in the financial market, the economy is in crisis. Institutions granting bad and fraudulent loans contribute to a real estate boom and record profits for the lenders, but they become overextended and the system falls apart. As a result of the mismanagement and fraud, ordinary citizens lose their jobs, their homes and their life savings. The federal government steps in with taxpayer money to bailout the institutions and prevent a complete economic collapse. Meanwhile, the executives from these institutions keep their mansions and yachts and the spoils of their misdeeds. The year is 1987.
- Hide quoted text -

Just over 20 years ago, it was VP George H.W. Bush in the White House and John McCain was in the Senate. Bush's son, Neil, was a director of the Silverado Savings and Loan which cost taxpayers over a billion dollars when it collapsed. Neil Bush was found guilty of "breaches of his fiduciary duties involving multiple conflicts of interest." Meanwhile Sen. McCain was trying to get his close friend Charles Keating, owner of the Lincoln Savings and Loan, out of a jam.

Keating's operation was under investigation by the Federal Home Loan Bank Board. But since Keating had given McCain significant contributions, invested in a business with Cindy McCain, and flown the McCains around in his jet and let them stay in his lavish vacation retreat in the Bahamas, McCain went to the FHLBB, along with 4 other senators, to pressure them to leave his crony Keating alone. In a series of meetings, McCain and company tried to strongarm the FHLBB into backing off their investigation. When asked if he thought his contributions had given him influence, Keating replied "I want to say in the most forceful way I can: I certainly hope so."

The efforts of McCain and the rest of the "Keating Five" to interfere with an investigation and regulation of a federal agency on behalf of a contributor, resulted in an investigation by the Senate Ethics Committee. Although McCain admitted this was the "worst mistake of his life," he continues to oppose regulation in the financial industry. Was the mistake getting caught?

Now, in 2008, we are in an eerily similar financial crisis and John McCain is running for president. Will his solution be to protect and bailout his cronies on Wall Street who have profiteered our economy into shambles? That's what his partner-in-crime George W. Bush has proposed. We can't afford 4 more years of the same.

Pass this along to everyone you can!

The Bailout - A Simple Explanation & Plea for Action (received via e-mail)

2008-09-24T17:25:00.000-04:00

I am not a financial expert, but I have been following this crisis very closely for over a year, and I am a lawyer (for what that's worth). The current financial crisis is very confusing, and this Administration is using that to their advantage to rush through a bill that gives the Treasury Secretary, Henry Paulson, a former partner at Goldman Sachs, absolute unfettered power over $700 billion of our taxpayer money. This Administration does not have a good record when given unfettered power (FISA, Guantanomo, the Iraq War). Most people I talk to don't really know that much about the situation, so I put together a super-simple explanation below. It is, of course, incomplete, but will give people an idea of the basics.

The main thing is: we need to take action now & reach out to our representatives, which hopefully you will see when you read this email. THIS BILL LIKELY WILL BE PASSED THIS WEEK. The bill before Congress gives Paulson/Bush $700 billion of our taxpayer money -- more than twice the cost of the Iraq war -- to buy the near-worthless to worthless "assets" of American AND foreign financial institutions at above-market prices. As drafted, this bill gives Paulson the power to pay any price he wants, and his decisions/actions are NONREVIEWABLE by any court or administrative agency. The bill specifically says that he cannot be prosecuted for any actions that he takes (which in and of itself should make us nervous). Once we own these "assets" by the way, he will be able to hire his cronies to manage them, and there are no restrictions on the amount of fees he can pay them.

What can we do? All we can do at this point is call and email our representatives, repeatedly, to demand that they build in protections for us into this bill (see talking points below). Their information is available at www.congress.org – put in your zip code in the upper right search box and it will tell you who your reps are and link to their contact info. If you are in New York State, call Hillary Clinton at 202-224-4451 and 212-688-6262; and Chuck Schumer at 202-224-6542 and 212-486-4430. If you are in midtown Manhattan, your Congressional reps are Carolyn Maloney at 202-225-7944 and Jerold Nadler at 202-225-5635 and 212-367-7350.

For those of you who want to know more, here is a very stripped down, simple primer of what has happened & what is going on:

HOW WE GOT HERE:

Over the past several years, the housing boom was created by the loosening up of lending standards so that just about anyone, regardless of income, could get a mortgage. This happened because commercial banks were able to "sell" the loans they made to financial institutions, which in turn bundled lots of mortgages together, and sold them as mortgage-backed securities (MBS). They sold them to investors, including many foreign investors in China and other countries. Because the loan originators were no longer holding the loans, it meant that they did not take on the risk of getting paid back by the borrower. The banks making the loans got lots of fees for originating the loans, and then they got them off their books by selling them to the financial institutions. The banks therefore had an incentive to make as many loans as possible, regardless of whether the borrower could really pay. So they stopped requiring documentation of income and assets (the so-called "no doc" loans, aka "liars loans"), and they started getting creative with financial instruments like Option ARM mortgages, which enticed borrowers with low introductory rates, telling them not to worry because "housing prices always go up" and they could "always refinance". Because more people had access to credit, there were more people with more cash in the market for homes, which bid prices up and up. As a result, for a long while, the Ponzi scheme worked.

HOW THE PARTY ENDED:

Then how did it all come crashing down? It turns out that people who said they had X amount of income but didn't, couldn't make their mortgage payments – often even at the introductory interest rates. Once the mortgages "reset" at the higher interest rates, they definitely couldn't afford them, and they started defaulting.

So what does this do the mortgage-backed security when the underlying loan isn't repaid? Remember an MBS is just a bundle of these mortgages, so the holder of the MBS is sitting back waiting for all of those mortgage payments to come in & that's where the asset's value is. If people stop paying their mortgages, the MBS is not worth what they paid for it. (This is really simplifying here but…) So assume you own an MBS, and if every person pays 100% of their mortgage back, you get $100. If that were to happen, and there were no risk, then say your MBS is worth $100. But suppose people are defaulting right and left already (as they are), unemployment is going up (as it is), prices for food and oil are going up (as they are) and interest rate resets are coming up (as they are). Say the market is looking at what is happening & saying, realistically, you are probably getting about 20% of those mortgage payments in and you can forget about getting the rest of that money. Sure the mortgage holder gets the house, but with so many houses in foreclosure at once creating oversupply, the house value has dropped, and so it isn't worth much – plus there are many transaction costs associated with foreclosure. Therefore the MBS you hold is worth, say $20 instead of $100.

Now imagine you are an investment bank, with lots and lots of these very mortgage-backed securities. As it turns out, the market wants to pay you $20 for each of these securities. But, if you sell for that price, then you will go bankrupt. You have been listing these assets on your books at a much higher price (say, I don't know, $100), so if the true market price comes out, then your liabilities exceed your assets, and you are gone, and all of that stock in your nice investment bank goes to zero. Importantly, if any OTHER investment bank starts selling its very similar MBS assets at market price, then everyone in the world knows the true value of YOUR MBS as well (which is one of the reasons why JP Morgan bought Bear Stearns, and why the Fed was willing to help out – that price discovery would let everyone see what these investment banks are really worth).

THE CREDIT SQUEEZE:

The current crisis is caused by a complete freeze in the credit markets. It turns out that it isn't just mortgages that are a problem – the overabundance of easy credit has spread everywhere (student loans, credit cards, corporate bonds, municipal bonds), and now people are not paying back so much. Which means that anyone with cash (like commercial banks, that hold our deposits) are quite nervous about lending ANYONE any money. The Federal government has tried hard to make lending cheaper, with rate cuts (which makes it cheaper for banks to borrow from the government), but it hasn't worked. Everyone is scared to lend.

HOW THEY WANT TO "FIX" IT (as in "the fix is in"):

Here's where we, the taxpayers, come in. Paulson wants to take our $700 billion, and buy these mortgage backed securities from the financial institutions. But he obviously can't pay the $20 that the market is offering in my example (otherwise, the market would have done it already). He is going to pay, say, $60. Then we will hold the mortgage & if people pay back the $60, then we are fine. But the market (that once-great free market the Republicans have always touted until now) has now pretty accurately figured out that is not going to happen. So we are going to pay $60 and then maybe one day down the road, we will get $20 back. The other $40 goes right to the investment banks and other financial institutions that we are buying from – which means that those guys who got us into this mess, get to keep their nice bonuses and their stock stays up. The idea here is that the banks are made solvent again because they've gotten rid of these bad assets (and given them to us), and so the borrowing & lending can resume. Yes, it's corporate welfare paid from "Main Street" right to "Wall Street." Is there another solution? Not that anyone can think of. The bailout is pretty much inevitable in some form or another.

WHAT WE CAN DO:

Realistically, not much. There will be a bailout, and there probably has to be or else businesses can't get loans, they can't make payroll, can't make stuff, etc. The economy will grind to a halt unless something is done. But the important issue here is that, under the current proposal, Paulson picks the price that we pay for the MBS's – so whether we are giving the banks $25, $40, or $60 for mortgage-backed security…Paulson decides and NO ONE can review that. Paulson owns, by the way, an awful lot of Goldman Sachs stock.

Right now, at a bare minimum, we need to make sure that this process has some built-in oversight and protections for us, so that we are not just writing a nice big bonus check to the Goldman Sachs partners, and getting nothing in return.

If you are OK with unlimited power to the Bush Administration to pay their buddies whatever prices they want, then do nothing, because that is what is going to happen. The Democrats are looking at it this way: if the plan fails, they blame the Republicans. If the plan succeeds, they can't have been said to have slowed down the rescue or impeded it in any way. So guess what? – this plan will pass, as a matter of political necessity. They are counting on our ignorance and complacency. And by the way, they are about to have a recess so that they can go campaign for the elections, so they want to get this done fast. Paulson has also scared them to death – they don't really understand what is going on and he has promised them Armageddon if they don't pass his bill fast, no time for regulation or oversight, he says. Don't let them off so easy!

If you want to build in some taxpayer protection, on the other hand, CALL AND WRITE your representatives, tell them you UNDERSTAND what is going on (even if you don't fully) and you won't stand for it. Here are some talking points:

TALKING POINTS (BASIC):

I am a taxpayer and voter and I understand what is going on. I strongly oppose the bailout, but if there must be one, then I demand that this Administration not be given unfettered power. I demand that:

1- that we appoint a bi-partisan oversight committee which must, among other things, approve pricing or the methodology by which prices are determined,

2 - the taxpayers receive warrants in exchange for purchasing these mortgage-backed securities,

3 - there are caps on executive compensation for the companies taking advantage of the plan,

4 - there is an expiration date on the powers conferred,

5 - the decisions of this entity/Paulson ARE subject to review by administrative agencies and courts.

TALKING POINTS (DETAILED):

Here is a detailed list of what the bill should mandate:

● a website that listed IN REAL TIME each transaction purchased by the government. This would list the details of the asset, the par value, the selling institution, the underlying characteristics, the originators of the loans, the price the government paid (and eventual sold the asset for) and any other relevant detail.
● limitations on and reporting of fees to organizations used as agents for implementation of the bill.
● limitations on executive compensation and dividend payouts for any firm receiving a subsidy.
● mandatory dilution of common and preferred stock, FBO the US taxpayer, for any institution receiving aid.
● criminal penalties for firms that collude in raising the offering prices at the "reverse auctions" to be used.
● restriction of purchases to specific categories of securities.
● restricting purchases to instruments more than one year old.
● prevention of subsidies to foreign firms and governments.
● forbidding the use of any monies to manipulate, directly or indirectly, the price or future prices of any stocks, bonds, currencies, or commodities

If you find this to be helpful, please pass it on.

McCain's Mansions

2008-08-21T15:33:00.001-04:00

Barbie rod hooks record-breaking catfish

2008-08-20T16:42:00.001-04:00

David Hayes is not the kind of guy who usually fishes with a hot pink Barbie doll rod and reel.

But Hayes is also a doting grandfather. And that's how he happened to land a record 21-pound channel catfish with his granddaughter's toy rod and reel.

Read article

One of the Coolest Animations Ever

2008-07-10T11:53:00.001-04:00

This took months to complete. Wow Wow Wow.

Pipe Skater

2008-06-23T13:50:00.001-04:00

via videosift.com

Obama Ad -Country I Love

2008-06-19T15:55:00.001-04:00

I think this hits just the right note.

Hillary's Gone Too Far

2008-05-23T23:00:00.001-04:00

It is time to pull the plug before anything happens.

Why Hillary Should Be the Nominee

2008-05-12T12:58:00.001-04:00

CPDRC Revisited

2008-05-06T16:50:00.003-04:00

The Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in the Philipines is at it again. Their version of Thriller is legendary, but this one is almost as good.

The Empire Strikes Barack

2008-05-05T13:18:00.001-04:00

Erykah Badu is Genius

2008-04-17T01:20:00.000-04:00

Here she gives "advice" to aspiring female singers.

WTF x 10000

2008-04-07T15:25:00.001-04:00

Australian couple (and new parents of 9 month old girl) are father and daughter. Yep. Read that again.

Forbidden Love

Reporter v. Sled

2008-03-27T10:47:00.003-04:00

Reporter Owned By Sled

Ryan Reynolds is Really Funny

2008-03-20T21:02:00.001-04:00

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ryan-reynolds/the-clown-god_b_51698.html

What's More Demeaning than Entering a Booty Shaking Contest?

2008-03-20T14:45:00.002-04:00

This.

Video Movies

2008-03-13T11:03:00.000-04:00

As opposed to audio movies. So much better with pictures! Be sure to watch through the credits.

Ken Olbermann Special Comment on Clinton and Ferraro

2008-03-13T00:00:00.002-04:00

Thank you for having the courage to say it.

Hillary's Inner Voice

2008-02-08T10:12:00.000-05:00

Spell Chequer

2008-02-03T02:26:00.000-05:00

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea
Eye strike a quay and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong or write
It shows me strait a weigh
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can putt the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong
Eye have run this poem threw
I am shore your pleas two no
Its let her perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew

-Martha Snow

Jamie Lynn Spears Speaks Out About Pregnancy!

2007-12-31T16:21:00.000-05:00

I love my new Camera

2007-11-17T15:55:00.000-05:00

Just got a Canon Rebel XTi and it rocks.

I call this one "deuling banjos"

I Believe The Children are Our Future

2007-11-02T15:49:00.000-04:00

Set them on fire and let them light the way.

Stacy Hedger - The Greatest Trumpeter in the World

2007-10-21T20:05:00.000-04:00

Making Others Watch Your Kids

2007-10-10T10:42:00.000-04:00

This story about kids learning to count change (at the expense of others) is awesome.

When in line with five other really tired, hungry people behind you, that is SO not the time to teach your kids economics.

All I wanted was my pizza.

The lady in front of me wanted to assure that her kids get that extra fiddy cents an hour when landing a job, all because they can count.

She ordered her pizza and I sighed in relief. It took her five minutes to decide on the type of crust. There have been the same three types since the 1960's, but, please, take your time.

"Oh, my daughter wants a slushee." She gazed down at the youngest. "Go ahead, Megan."

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

"I want a slushee. A pink one," Megan declared. The elderly cashier looked positively orgasmic with delight. Well, roll me in sugar and call me cookie, isn't that fucking precious.

"That will be ONE DOLLAR, AND EIGHTEEN CENTS!" the cashier hollered. Because we all know that if you don't understand the math? Holler. No speaka dee English? Holler. If Crystal has a migraine? Holler.

"Ok." Megan whipped out her Hello Kitty coin purse and with her tongue poking out, methodically began counting out pennies.
Sweet bleeding Abraham, someone fucking gut me and cover me in bleach. It will be less painful.

"And eighteen cents!" Megan declared after what seemed like an hour. The entire line behind her breathed a collective sigh of relief.

As I inched forward, using that "breathe down your neck so you'll move faster" mentality, the mother spoke.

"Now, your turn, April."

See the rest at the interestingly named not-a-mommy-blog ("My kids aren't perfect & I cuss a lot. ") Boobs, Injuries & Dr. Pepper

Love is a Rough Business

2007-10-08T10:58:00.000-04:00

FROM CRAIG’S LIST

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Capturing the Moment

2007-10-05T11:22:00.000-04:00

Sometimes great photography is all about being at the right place at the right time.

He's either ruining the picture or making it, depending on your point of view. (from CollegeHumor)

What it MEans to Be a Republican

2007-09-24T13:56:00.000-04:00

This exchange from the presidential debates really sums up what is going on in the Republican party. It's really interesting how there are such strong cheers on both sides, but the side that refuses to admit it was wrong is still carrying the day. It's all about pride and honor, and the same unflinching sanctimony that got us where we are in the first place.

Who Says You Can't Be Pretty and Smart?

2007-08-27T13:47:00.000-04:00

Apparently, Miss South Carolina

Dear Mr. FUV Driver - Stolen from Craigslist

2007-08-14T11:55:00.001-04:00

Dear Mr. FUV driver:

Please accept my apologies for not letting you merge into my lane this morning after you tried to get around a line of cars by using the blocked off construction lane. I know your gigantic Suburban is better than my little girly car and can handle that bumpy, stripped road, and that you could have taken off the front end of my Civic for not letting you in, but see, here's my theory: you already take up too much.

-You take up too much of the road. I know, the lanes should be wider to accommodate you, but they aren't yet. You take up the entire lane from left to right, and if that isn't enough, you usually don't pay attention to your driving, so you take up even more by drifting over at me. Or, you are tailgating me at 80 MPH on the highway to make you move out of your way. So you pretty much already get the majority of the road.

-You take up too much parking space. Your long ass car hangs out into the driving lane. You take forever to park because you can't maneuver your battleship into the space; if you are conscientious enough to care that you are parked between the lines, or close to the curb, which isn't the norm. So, you usually take up more than your share of parking spaces by parking like shit. But hey, you are special, and you'll "only be a minute". I should be more patient.

-You take up too much of my line of vision. I can't see around you to see if I can make a left turn; I can't see around you to see if I should pull into traffic. I can't see the road ahead of me for your big ass. I'm usually stuck reading the stupid stickers you put on that big ass to announce your alliances. I know I should care about New Trier, or the fact that you are proud of your University of Dayton alumni status, but I really don't.

-You take up too much gas. I know it's your right if you can afford to pay for it, but I can't help feeling sorry for those mothers who are paying for your gas addiction with their sons. I'll try harder to get over it.

-You take up too much air. I know your FUV is officially categorized by the government as a truck so you don't have to adhere to regular emissions standards, but it's my ozone too. And I'd like a few days of summer to be less than 100 degrees, I still like snow in the winter, but hey, I'm selfish that way.

-You take up too much velocity. When you hit me doing your 50 mph, there is no doubt I will die because your two tons of metal will not be slowed significantly by my compact car. I guess I should be grateful that I will go quickly, if not painlessly.

-You take up too many cell phone minutes. Is there some secret FUV club that I am not aware of? Because you are all, always, on your cell phones.

So, Mr. or Ms. FUV driver, if you see me in my little Civic, know that I'm sorry that I don't let you cut into traffic after driving around those waiting in line. I'm sorry I don't give you the option at a 4 way stop. I'm sorry if I don't move out of your way immediately on the highway when you tailgate. I'm sorry I'm not more courteous, because, to me, just the fact that you are driving that thing without a legitimate reason makes you a selfish prick.

H. Civic

Video Isn't Dead

2007-07-26T11:23:00.001-04:00

Combine a hooky tune with a cheap creative video and it's awesome.

The artist is Sia She's a frequent collaborator with Zero 7, including my fave "Destiny"

iPhones Suck. Get ready for the Ophone

2007-07-26T10:31:00.001-04:00

Joe Pesci Confuses "Gangsta Rap" and "Gangster Rap"

2007-07-11T13:19:00.000-04:00

YouTube - Joe Pesci - Wiseguy Music Video (Uncut)

Republican Rules

2007-07-06T13:31:00.000-04:00

Daily Kos: What Frederick Douglass Said 155 Years Ago Today

2007-07-04T16:04:00.000-04:00

Daily Kos: What Frederick Douglass Said 155 Years Ago Today

Night Shift at the Pinata Factory

2007-07-02T18:08:00.001-04:00

This security guard says he just got "bored" but he really got a lot more than that. Grainy but semi-graphic.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=102_1183361748&p=1

Muhammad Ali: A Look Back in Photos | Photo Essays | TIME

2007-06-20T11:56:00.000-04:00

Muhammad Ali: A Look Back in Photos | Photo Essays | TIME The Greatest Of All Time.

Woman jailed for testicle attack

2007-06-14T16:10:00.000-04:00

Uh, this woman, uh, she, well she, got in a fight, she was was uh, mad at her ex-boyfriend and, uh, she, uh well she grabbed and uh she ripped and uh .... Ah just read it.

BBC NEWS | UK | England | Merseyside | Woman jailed for testicle attack: "Woman jailed for testicle attack"

I act my age

2007-06-07T11:40:00.000-04:00

My New York age is 38

This New York age puts you into a middle category between young and old (but not "middle age" per se). Be proud. You've got a nice balance between going out hard-core and staying in. You care about culture but also like some quiet nights. Keep it up, but think about expanding your horizons in the other directions. Head to Studio B or Anthology Film Archives for the first time, or finally check out the Village Vanguard or Elaine's for a dose of old-school NYC.

What's your New York age? Take the Time Out New York quiz and find out!

Words Fail Me

2007-06-06T14:36:00.001-04:00

Dirty Politics

2007-05-30T14:10:00.000-04:00

This is really clever

Elisabeth Rose

2007-05-14T22:21:00.000-04:00

It's on.

Really Bad Martial Arts

2007-05-09T16:06:00.001-04:00

This contains one of my all time favorites Nunchuk Guy clips with a few more gems.

LOLTrek

2007-05-03T16:40:00.000-04:00

Too hard to explain, just go there.

LOLTrek « Live Granades

Beats the Hell Out of First Dance

2007-05-03T15:17:00.000-04:00

This entire bridal party decided to take it to the next level with Michael Jackson.

Bridal Party Dances To Thriller - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

A Fat Rant

2007-05-02T11:47:00.000-04:00

This is a really excellent monologue on being Fat in America. Fat is not a death sentence or a crime.

A Fat Rant.

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Why Motorcycling is "Dangerous"

2007-05-01T17:11:00.000-04:00

Whenever you hear someone talk about how dangerous motorcyling is, realize that these guys are part of the statistics.

Happy Mother's Day!

2007-05-01T00:40:00.000-04:00

A special message from Mr. T for those we love the most.

Fox News Sinks To New Low, Reports Satirical Story As Actual News (video)

2007-05-01T00:21:00.001-04:00

On Tuesday, Fox News morning show "Fox & Friends" aired at least eight segments on a purported "news" story that was actually a parody article written by a publication similar to The Onion.

read more | digg story

Worst Kid Ever

2007-04-25T18:00:00.001-04:00

Hey Dad! Can I drive your new mustang? Even though I'm an idiot?

The End of the World

2007-04-06T11:06:00.000-04:00

The End of the World

This is a very funny Flash animation about world pieces. Enjoy.

It's Official, John McCain Sold His Soul

2007-03-19T15:45:00.000-04:00

Over the years, I've found myself agreeing with John McCain on a number of issues. Of course, that was back when he was a moderate voice of reason and pragmatism in the Republican party. Now McCain, the faux conservative, can't even commit to whether he believes that condoms prevent the spread of AIDS. Let alone whether government funds should be used to distribute them in Africa and other places where the disease is killing millions. Thanks John, it was nice knowing you.

McCain Stumbles on H.I.V. Prevention - The Caucus - Politics - New York Times Blog

Where They Weekend: Montclair, NJ - Gawker

2007-03-12T11:34:00.000-04:00

Where They Weekend: Montclair, NJ - Gawker Gawker reps (and rips) my beloved burg.

Collected Wisdom: Logitech G7 Batteries L-LL11

2007-02-21T11:28:00.000-05:00

I'm starting a new thing on my blog I'm calling "Collected Wisdom." There are often times where I scour the internet looking for the answer to a question and it takes me forever to find the one place that it is. When that happens, I am going to blog it so that it is easier for others to find the next time. I'm going to write in a style that is most searchable, so bear with me. So here goes the first one.

I have a Logitech G7 gaming mouse. The battery life is very short before needing a recharge. I am recharging it every day. I want a new replacement battery for the stock one which is number L-LL11. Unfortunately Logitech does not sell them. What you have to do is return the one you have under warranty and they will replace the whole thing. There is a known issue with the battery life in the first generation of this mouse (the one with a plastic base). The best thing to do is to call Logitech at 702-269-3457. There is no 800 number. From what I can tell, this is either a smooth process or a horrible one. But it helps to call and not to use their online return system.

More information is here.

Purdue to RIAA: We Don't Work for You

2007-02-21T11:26:00.001-05:00

The AP buried the lead on this one. At the end of an article on increased RIAA complaints to colleges, there is a quote from Purdue University that says that all their RIAA complaint e-mails are going straight into their junk folder. They are an ISP and they don't have to do anything.

read more | digg story

So how was your day?

2007-02-14T14:38:00.000-05:00

Mtv - Gawker

Lisa Nowak's NASA Issue Astronaut DIAPER For Sale on eBay

2007-02-09T12:31:00.000-05:00

Oh how I love Ebay. Home of old forgotten comics, precious moments figurines, autographed Celine Dion headshots and the rest. I did not think I could love it any more than I do, but I was wrong. The best fact from the psycho-stalker-astronaut story of Lisa Nowak was certainly the fact that she wore a diaper so she wouldn't have to stop. Nevermind that this was part of her astronaut training, it's still butt-crazy to do it in a car. Now, thanks to eBay, you can own one of her "extra" NASA-issued diapers that she left when she did, in fact, stop to get something to eat. I love the way they are marked as a "biohazard" I am thinking it wasn't nearly as hazardous as your average one year-old's fun packet, but then again I don't know Lisa Nowak.

Bid soon!

eBay: Lisa Nowak NASA Astronaut DIAPER left behind..RARE!! (item 140084033616 end time Feb-18-07 11:09:39 PST)

P.S. I know everyone is going to question it's authenticity, but I don't care. It's funny as hell anyway.

Car Safety

2007-01-23T13:29:00.000-05:00

This video from the Broward Couty Sheriff's Office shows why you should always keep your car doors locked. Even when you are outside the car pumping gas. A thief can come up next to your car and steal valuables right off the passenger seat. Not something to be freaked out by, but the solution is so simple that it makes sense to lock up.

Orville Exhumed

2007-01-20T22:11:00.000-05:00

Is everyone else as disturbed as I am by the new Orville Redenbacher ad?

The guy is dead for Christ's sake, have a little decency and don't make him shill for the next 500 years. A hundred times worse than the dead guy Diet Coke ads from a few years back .

Rewind: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

2007-01-17T14:37:00.000-05:00

Almost nine years ago, my website (before it was even vate.net) had its brush with greatness. On a baby-fresh Internet where viral audio wasn't even labelled yet, my friend Nancy sent me an e-mail with a HUGE 1.25 mb file (can you say 56k modem?). It was from a Radio show in Minnesota where they test a guy to see if he will send free flowers to his girlfriend . . . or to someone else. Well the prank worked out even better than expected, and the results were both hilarious and pathetic (aka "good content").

So Nancy also sent it to the Washington Post for their new Internet column "The Navigator", but there wasn't a website to link to. So I agreed to post it on my site, and the rest is history. I don't remember how much traffic it generated, but since there were about 100 people online at the time it would be laughable by Youtube standards. But still, I'd like to think that in some way I had a part in harnessing this incredible new technology so people could waste time at work. Enjoy.

"The Radio.wav"

Also in RealAudio 1.1 or something equally crusty

Creep-O-Rama

2007-01-05T12:46:00.000-05:00

Gothamist: Saw Something, Said Something

Talk about not getting the point. This post on the Gothamist is about a woman who saw a guy flashing her on the train and she took a camera phone picture of him and posted it on the Internet. After the story is the standard series of comments on the incident. But in April, 2006, "John Adams" an admitted flasher was apparently doing some weird Google search and decided to turn the comments section into his own personal blog. He discusses why flashing is really an OK thing to do and why flashers are really good people at heart. They aren't bad like "wierdos" or "rapists". In fact, according to Adams, they will even help you out with your rent if you need it (7/1/06). Read and be skeeved.

How to steal an election by hacking the vote : Page 1

2006-10-26T16:44:00.000-04:00

How to steal an election by hacking the vote : Page 1

This is incredibly disturbing.

GTA made me do it!

2006-04-03T10:29:00.000-04:00

The best excuse for anti-social behavior ever.

read more | digg story

Phishers Setting Hidden Traps on eBay

2006-04-03T10:26:00.000-04:00

Click on an eBay auction listing, and you could get an unwanted result: a fake eBay login page, created by scammers looking to pilfer your username and password.

read more | digg story

What the Heck?

2006-03-30T17:31:00.000-05:00

The only thing more senseless than a statue of Britney Spears on a bearskin rug is a statue of Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug.

42 Really Is The Answer!

2006-03-28T10:49:00.000-05:00

It looks like Douglas Adams was right all along! His answer to the Ultimate Question -42- is really the answer to one of the ultimate questions in mathematics. Was it divine intervention that made him think it up? Or mere coincidence?

read more | digg story

Top Ten Technology disasters

2006-03-22T18:39:00.000-05:00

hubris+technology= mucho badness

But the Vasa ship is really cool now that they dredged it up.

read more | digg story

Boy Recovers From "Brain Dead" to Normal Function With Video Game Therapy!

2006-03-20T17:19:00.000-05:00

9 year-old boy who was pronounced brain dead is able to catch up with his peers in school through the use of video games and neurofeedback training.

read more | digg story

Bribing a NYTimes Veteran Tech Writer to Get Highly Positive Reviews?!

2006-03-20T14:48:00.000-05:00

An interesting article about how a journalist from SFWeekly found out thru a sale's rep about New York Time's David Pogue's free $2700 repair service which he never mentioned in his highly possitive review of the Hard Drive data recovery company "DriveSavers" on NYTimes.com, CBS and NPR!

read more | digg story

Kids Build Soybean-Fueled Car

2006-03-01T18:23:00.000-05:00

CBS News | Kids Build Soybean-Fueled Car:

A car that can go from zero to 60 in four seconds and get more than 50 miles to the gallon would be enough to pique any driver's interest. So who do we have to thank for it. Ford? GM? Toyota? No — just Victor, David, Cheeseborough, Bruce, and Kosi, five kids from the auto shop program at West Philadelphia High School

The five kids, along with a handful of schoolmates, built the soybean-fueled car as an after-school project. It took them more than a year — rummaging for parts, configuring wires and learning as they went. As teacher Simon Hauger notes, these kids weren't exactly the cream of the academic crop. "

This is really pretty amazing and shows what giving "problem kids" an opportunity can reap.

Why we need more emoticons :-)

2006-02-13T11:17:00.000-05:00

Wired News: The Secret Cause of Flame Wars: "According to recent research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, I've only a 50-50 chance of ascertaining the tone of any e-mail message. The study also shows that people think they've correctly interpreted the tone of e-mails they receive 90 percent of the time."

Full article here

Hey Aliens! Suck on This!

2006-02-10T13:17:00.000-05:00

40-metre profanity spotted from space: "Those of you with Google Earth can have a closer look here (.kmz file). The less highly-evolved can try Google Maps here or should look a couple of hundred metres west of the aforementioned village of Billingley. ®"

Lost World Found!!

2006-02-07T19:56:00.000-05:00

This is cooler than cool. Just when we think we have trampled every square inch of the planet, it turns out that there is an oasis filled with creatures never before discovered or thought to be gone.

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | New species found in Papua 'Eden':
"An international team of scientists says it has found a 'lost world' in the Indonesian jungle that is home to dozens of new animal and plant species. 'It's as close to the Garden of Eden as you're going to find on Earth,' said Bruce Beehler, co-leader of the group."

Don't Tell Adrian Monk About This One

2006-02-06T18:33:00.000-05:00

Bottled Water: Nectar of the Frauds?: "Water, water everywhere and we are duped into buying it bottled. Consumers spend a collective $100 billion every year on bottled water in the belief--often mistaken, as it happens--that this is better for us than what flows from our taps, according to environmental think tank the Earth Policy Institute (EPI).

For a fraction of that sum, everyone on the planet could have safe drinking water and proper sanitation."

The Unholy Offspring of George Lucas and Don King

2006-02-03T15:32:00.000-05:00

New York Daily News - Home - Meet Jabba the nut:

"A 38-year-old bald 'Star Wars' geek who called himself The Emperor formed a fight club on his Staten Island school bus - encouraging kids to descend into the dark side and beat their classmates, authorities said yesterday."

And to think I just had a bus driver who let kids smoke pot in the back.

'Baby Jessica' Marries Small-Town Sweetheart | Jessica McClure, Marriage : People.com

2006-02-01T14:40:00.000-05:00

'Baby Jessica' Marries Small-Town Sweetheart | Jessica McClure, Marriage : People.com:

"Jessica McClure, the toddler who captured the nation's heart and evoked its prayers 18 years ago from 22 feet below the surface of this oil patch town, is a married woman.

McClure – now 19 and a student at Midland College – was married Saturday to Daniel Morales, 32, at a Church of Christ in a small rural community outside of the town. The couple met at a day-care center where Morales’s sister worked with the bride. "

Not much of a story - until you get to this:

"At 25, McClure stands to earn a trust fund reportedly valued in excess of $1 million, made up of contributions from well-wishers around the world. "

WTF? She's going to be a millionaire because she was dumb enough to fall down a well? I'm going to go outside and walk in front of a cab and just wait for the money to roll in the door.

The Big Bird Flu

2006-01-30T15:59:00.000-05:00

Science & Technology at Scientific American.com: Study Strengthens Link between Virus and Weight Gain: "New study results bolster the controversial hypothesis that certain cases of obesity are contagious. Over the last 20 years, some research has suggested that certain strains of human and avian adenoviruses--responsible for ailments ranging from the chest colds to pink eye--actually make individuals build up more fat cells."

Kanye Was on to Something

2006-01-30T15:40:00.000-05:00

Study Ties Political Leanings to Hidden Biases: "Another study presented at the conference, which was in Palm Springs, Calif., explored relationships between racial bias and political affiliation by analyzing self-reported beliefs, voting patterns and the results of psychological tests that measure implicit attitudes -- subtle stereotypes people hold about various groups.

That study found that supporters of President Bush and other conservatives had stronger self-admitted and implicit biases against blacks than liberals did."

7 myths about the Challenger shuttle disaster - MSNBC's Top News - MSNBC.com

2006-01-27T18:28:00.000-05:00

7 myths about the Challenger shuttle disaster - MSNBC's Top News - MSNBC.com:

"It didn't explode, the crew didn't die instantly and it wasn't inevitable"

WTF?!? - Blizzard Saves Gays from Themselves

2006-01-27T14:58:00.000-05:00

Blizzard says no to "GLBT friendly" guilds in online World Of Warcraft game

A guild is a group of people who play online together. And when a player advertised for members in a non-exclusive "GLBT friendly" guild, Blizzard shut her down and said (among other idiotic things) "'Many people are insulted just at the word 'homosexual' or any other word referring to sexual orientation"

Go to Wal-Mart, Buy Play-Doh, Get DVD Player for Free

2006-01-26T11:52:00.000-05:00

Play-Doh Can Foil 90% of Most Fingerprint Scanning Security Systems @ Alice Hill’s Real Tech News - Independent Tech: "Today, Fortune has a piece on plans by retail giants, Costco, Target, and Wal-Mart to move to fingerprint biometric technology as a way of cutting down on fraud and to expedite check-out line time. Sounds good, but it turns out that a simple “finger” molded from Play-Doh can foil 90% of these systems."

The Real Life Memento

2006-01-26T11:45:00.000-05:00

BrainConnection.com - The Day His World Stood STill: The Strange Story of H.M:

"When twenty-seven year old Henry M. entered the hospital in 1953 for radical brain surgery that was supposed to cure his epilepsy, he was hopeful that the procedure would change his life for the better. Instead, it trapped him in a mental time warp where TV is always a new invention and Truman is forever president. The removal of large sections of his temporal lobes left Henry unable to form any new personal memories, but his tragic loss revolutionized the field of psychology and made 'H.M.' the most-studied individual in the history of brain research."

Janet Jackson Blew The F*&% Up!

2006-01-24T18:28:00.000-05:00

Did everyone else know that Janet Jackson is HUGE?!?

Girlfriend went from a six pack to a whole case.

UPDATE: More photos here

Every Windows Utility You Will Ever Need

2006-01-18T13:33:00.000-05:00

ComputerZen.com - Scott Hanselman's 2005 Ultimate Developer and Power Users Tool List:

Everyone collects utilities, and most folks have a list of a few that they feel are indispensable. Here's mine. Each has a distinct purpose, and I probably touch each at least a few times a week. For me, util means utilitarian and it means don't clutter my tray. If it saves me time, and seamlessly integrates with my life, it's the bomb."

How to Dance Like a White Guy

2006-01-03T16:45:00.000-05:00

I guess this is what happens after the Civil War reenactment

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3689560270595414198

Twin Bed Wrestler

2005-12-28T12:06:00.000-05:00

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4892359928197805795

This kid rocks. And by that I mean his head is full of them

Bin Laden's Niece in GQ

2005-12-23T11:16:00.000-05:00

Osama has a niece named Wafah Dafour and she lives in New York and is an aspiring model. I'm guessing he wouldn't like the photos of her in the latest GQ covered in little more than ostrich feathers.

The young lady is one of a zillion nieces and nephews though because Osama's dad had 50 kids.

RANT: BestBuy.com Sucks

2005-12-21T12:41:00.000-05:00

So I go online to BestBuy.com and order something for in-store pickup. I don't want to get to the store and not find it there, so this sounds like a great idea. Right? Wrong. First they say that it will be 45 minutes before I get a pickup notice so I should just wait around for the e-mail. However, since I have my trusty Blackberry and have to go out anyway, I head to the store. When I get there, the e-mail still hasn't arrived, so I browse around. About an hour after I placed my order, I get the notice that it has been cancelled because they were "unable to verify my information."

So I go up to the BestBuyGuy and tell him that I want to buy the item and that even though there aren't any on the floor, maybe they already pulled mine and have it in the back because I KNOW they have one since I ordered it online. Of course, he can't find any even though 2 are in the inventory and so he sends me across the state to another BestBuy that has some. I decide to go because 1) it's a few days before Christmas and 2) they had a good price.

Now the fun part. I call BestBuy.com to see why my order is cancelled. After waiting on hold for 20 minutes I speak to a jerk who "looks it up" and then tells me I have to call Discover and see if my credit card is ok. I tell him that it is fine since I used it for purchases after the cancellation, but he says I have to call them before he can refer it up the chain. After 5 minutes of telling him that makes no bloody sense, I relent and call Discover. Guess what? Discover had approved the transaction !!! And BestBuy.com had never cancelled it. Sounds like the only "information" they couldn't "verify" was that they had the damn item in the first place. Instead of admitting it was out of stock, they tried to pin it on me.

[Update] So I speak to another woman (after another 20 minute wait) and she can see that my card went through. So why the hell did the guy make me call Discover ?!?!? Now their story is that they do an independent verification of the account information to see if it jibes, but it is going to take a day for them to get back to me and tell me what the heck problem was. But in the meantime I have been assured that it wasn't because the item was out of stock.

Her explanation actually makes me even madder. When you go online and purchase something that is listed as "available for in-store pickup" at BestBuy.com, they don't contact the store to set it aside or verify that it is actually available. Even after they get your approval they still don't set it aside. Only after they "confirm the information," which took over an hour in my case, do they send a message to the store and see if they actually have it. So it's essentially worthless to shop online at BestBuy.com. If you can get to the store in under an hour, then you can just pick it up off the shelf yourself. Otherwise you sit around waiting for the confirmation while some other joker buys the last one. If the store is out of it after you've waited around, you get an e-mail offering to ship it to you or to let you to drive to another BestBuy and pick it up.

I've done online/in-store pickup with Circuit City and it is loads better. You get your order confirmation immediately and use that to get your items.

I will see what they say tomorrow, but I am probably going to report them to the Better Business Bureau for their shady tactics. I wish I was still in NY and could sick Eliot Spitzer on them too.

Speak to a Real Person

2005-12-21T12:15:00.000-05:00

The IVR Cheat Sheet(tm) by Paul English allows you to find a person instead of a computer at hundreds of major companies. He has dug through the "press one for English; press 2 for a new order" morass and gotten down to live assistance. This is unbelievably useful.

Checking out the Merchandise

2005-11-30T12:45:00.000-05:00

This is a picture from the Men's room at the Sofitel in Queensland, NZ.

It's Better to be a Dog

2005-09-19T12:26:00.000-04:00

Two images of evacuees from New Orleans

A truckload of evacuees arrives at the Metairie evacuation center
outside New Orleans.

Over 150 dogs and other animals were evacuated from an animal hospital
after their owners had left town without them

The Work Blind

2005-09-14T10:18:00.000-04:00

An ingenious way to turn a cubicle into a private office.